Don’t get too hung up on a word…
When I tell people that God’s “perfect will” didn’t happen in our situation, I notice it can ripple some still theological waters. Our job is to contend for His will to be done here on earth as it is in heaven. We don’t always see that played out. A clear, perhaps more palatable example, is divorce (Matthew 19:8).
Our experiential bar for His perfect will and best insight into the heart of God can be found in Scripture, especially in the life of Jesus. He healed everyone who came to Him, yet we went to Him and my son passed away.
Don’t misunderstand me, God is 100% sovereign in my home and over the grand direction of events in the world even with free will present. I am at peace with that, because He is truly Lord over my life. He was in charge of what took place and His Kingdom is here on earth, even with this outcome, because righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit are alive in me and my home even in the midst of intense grief.
He will work with all of what we face in this broken world and divided church. He will bring justice and good, even perfection eventually when He returns. This is my hope. This is my faith. I will see my son again and all of our tears will be wiped away forever. That is the culmination of His promise and I can’t wait for that day!
In the meantime, I will pour out my life to see as as much of His best as possible here and now… all for His glory. I will continue to come to Him with a cry for justice and have eyes open to see pieces of it even now. It is in my wonderful husband’s loyalty and the smile of my sweet daughter.
This is war and there are casualties, but God is still victorious right now. I can’t not praise or believe in Him and that is a gift of grace that I am so grateful for today.
Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed and weak within me [wrapped in darkness];
My heart grows numb within me.
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that You have done; I ponder the work of Your hands.